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Crimes against Humanity vol. 1

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Oct. 23rd, 2005 | 02:36 pm
Theme of the Day: contemplativecontemplative
Backround Noise: Computer Noise

These are Crimes Against Humanity that various Baby Boomers have perpetrated. The crime: giving birth to the flakes that have made my generation look vain, ignorant, and generally stupid.

- Britney Spears, Dec. 1981
- Jessica Simpson, July 1980
- Ashlee Simpson, Oct. 1984
- Lindsay Lohan, July 1986
- Hilary Duff, Sept. 1987
- Paris Hilton, Feb. 1981
- Nicole Hilton, Oct. 1983
- Christina Aguilera, Dec. 1980
- Avril Lavigne (I include her because she made punk look bad), Sept. 1984
- Nicole Richie, Sept. 1981

There are MANY MANY more, which I shall post on Crimes Against Humanity vol. 2, but these are the ones that truly deserved to be on the list

The punishment: I'm not so severe as to advocate death (although some of my online counterparts would think that I am much too lenient), but I would suggest a five year long ban against their materials. During that five year ban the above said group can join the school of life (otherwise called the school of hard knocks) to get a clue.

Unfortunately, the main culprit on my list has recently released womb droppings. She is a prime example of one who should not procreate.

Some may suggest that I should have included Katie Holmes on my list, but up until recently I thought the girl did have a clue. I still think she does actually, and that within a few years Tom Cruise will finally come out of the closet, Nicole Kidman will finally say "I told you so" and Katie will walk away from the marriage with an amicable divorce and ten times wealthier than she dreamed she would ever be. The pregnancy (and possible future ones) are the clincher. It's always good to have leverage in a divorce settlement.

Gotta love how I have such high hopes for their future eh?

It's hollywood....nothing's real in tinsle-town.

Hollywood: No clue since 1924

So that wraps up Crimes Against Humanity for now. Vol. 2 should be here the next time I see some fucking little pop-tart shaking her ass on TV and then telling me how I should live my life.

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